It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
