i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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