Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
