Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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