i may or may not be watching the land before time
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
