I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
