Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
