Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
