remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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