peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
