just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
