have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
