i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
This toilet bowl is my home.
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