Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
