I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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