Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize