Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
What changed your mind?
Being sober
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
