Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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