Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
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