Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How does one acquire holy water?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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