i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We have so much sex to catch up on
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
