First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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