once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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