how can u be prego again
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
