can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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