check it out our google latitudes are spooning
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
