you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
