well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Can you bring me the toilet please
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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