you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
