im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
