Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
