Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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