toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
