Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
