she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
