Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
