I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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