In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
