I wannas sexs uuuuu
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize