I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
