I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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