I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We are two peas in an std pod
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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