In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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