she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Randomize