tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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