O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Randomize
