Someone shit on the floor
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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