Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize