I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
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