I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
