ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
