Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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