To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Sorry my hands just texted you
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize