he looks like a really good dad on facebook
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
