He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
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