He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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