Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
This is my gift to your gina
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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